Stoner Party
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the houseNot a creature was smoking, not even my spouseThe stockings were hung by the chimney with careIn hopes that St. Nicholas would soon bring new glasswareThe stoners were nestled all snug in their bedsWith baked visions of sugar-plums dancing in their headsAnd mamma in her ‘kerchief - we just pulled some snapsHad just settled down for a long winter’s napWhen out on the lawn there arose such a clatterI put down the bong to see what was the matterAway to the window I flew like a flashTore open the shutters and hid the stashThe moon on the breast of the new-fallen snowGave the lustre of a Fillmore West psychedelic light showWhen, what to my stoney eyes should appearBut a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny Rasta reindeerWith a giddy old driver, so stoned and rippedI knew in a moment it was a way baked St. NickLike Cheech & Chong, slowly they cameAnd he took a pull from his joint and called them by name"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and the aptly named Blitzen!To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!Now smoke away! smoke away! smoke away all!”As bud leaf that burns through a waterpipe they flyWhen they meet with an obstacle, too high to crySo up to the house-top the coursers they flewWith the sleigh full of dank and St. Nicholas tooAnd then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roofThe prancing and pawing of each stoned goofAs I drew in my hit, and was turning aroundDown the chimney St. Nicholas came looking dumbfoundHe was pimped all in fur, from his head to his footAnd his clothes were all tarnished with pot ashes and sootA bundle of fat sacks he had flung on his backAnd he looked like a pot dealer just opening his packHis bloodshot eyes - how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!His cheeks were like roses, red like a cherry!His drooling little mouth caused him to look wackoAnd the beard of his chin told of munchies of tacosThe roach of a spliff he held tight in his teethAnd the smoke it encircled his head like a wreathHe had a broad face and a little round bellyThat shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jellyHe was chubby and plump, a right stoned old elfAnd I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myselfA wink of his eye from this twisted potheadSoon gave me to know he was straight Haile Selassie dreadHe spoke not a word, but went right to his workAnd filled all the stockings with something green and berserkAnd dropping his spliff aside of his torsoAnd giving a nod, up the chimney he roseHe sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistleAnd away they all flew like they were smoking crystalBut I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight"Stoner Parties for all, and to all a green night"
STONER PARTY <3 U! HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was smoking, not even my spouse
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that St. Nicholas would soon bring new glassware
The stoners were nestled all snug in their beds
With baked visions of sugar-plums dancing in their heads
And mamma in her ‘kerchief - we just pulled some snaps
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I put down the bong to see what was the matter
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Tore open the shutters and hid the stash
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of a Fillmore West psychedelic light show
When, what to my stoney eyes should appear
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny Rasta reindeer
With a giddy old driver, so stoned and ripped
I knew in a moment it was a way baked St. Nick
Like Cheech & Chong, slowly they came
And he took a pull from his joint and called them by name
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and the aptly named Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now smoke away! smoke away! smoke away all!”
As bud leaf that burns through a waterpipe they fly
When they meet with an obstacle, too high to cry
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew
With the sleigh full of dank and St. Nicholas too
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each stoned goof
As I drew in my hit, and was turning around
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came looking dumbfound
He was pimped all in fur, from his head to his foot
And his clothes were all tarnished with pot ashes and soot
A bundle of fat sacks he had flung on his back
And he looked like a pot dealer just opening his pack
His bloodshot eyes - how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, red like a cherry!
His drooling little mouth caused him to look wacko
And the beard of his chin told of munchies of tacos
The roach of a spliff he held tight in his teeth
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath
He had a broad face and a little round belly
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly
He was chubby and plump, a right stoned old elf
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself
A wink of his eye from this twisted pothead
Soon gave me to know he was straight Haile Selassie dread
He spoke not a word, but went right to his work
And filled all the stockings with something green and berserk
And dropping his spliff aside of his torso
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle
And away they all flew like they were smoking crystal
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight
"Stoner Parties for all, and to all a green night"

STONER PARTY <3 U! HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

  1. monsieurandy reblogged this from stonerparty
  2. neverlandxmermaid reblogged this from stonerparty
  3. shitstorm-troopers reblogged this from stonerparty
  4. hellonurse reblogged this from stonerparty and added:
    And to you as well!
  5. loveis-arson reblogged this from stonerparty
  6. riojordanskye reblogged this from stonerparty
  7. whatisthisim11 reblogged this from stonerparty and added:
    best christmas story ever
  8. mynameisnicolerenee reblogged this from stonerparty
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  10. notoriouscas reblogged this from stonerparty
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  12. sw4gdr4g0n reblogged this from stonerparty and added:
    thank you stoner party, for making my day. :)
  13. bengore reblogged this from stonerparty
  14. abortchrist reblogged this from stonerparty
  15. lygof1 reblogged this from stonerparty and added:
    omg i love pothead story times
  16. stonerparty posted this
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